


I Won't Leave And Let You Fall Behind

by LadyofAvalon



Series: The Scars Give It All Away [3]
Category: Bourne Legacy (2012), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Clint Barton is Aaron Cross, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 03:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofAvalon/pseuds/LadyofAvalon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe someday he will tell her the whole story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Leave And Let You Fall Behind

There is something behind the smile he gives her. Marta does not know what it is, but she can see something hidden, some ache he will not confide in her. There is a shadow that haunts him. That shadow makes him increasingly jittery whenever they are in a public place. He is always watching, but he never sees anything. Anything he wants to tell her about, that is.

From Manila they go to Singapore. He jumps at shadows there, something flashing through his eyes whenever they round a corner. There is never anything there. Or at least nothing that she sees. She wonders what it is, sometimes.

Other times, she does not want to know. Not when she's lying awake at night and he's tossing and turning, half asleep and half awake. She watches him across the room in the dark, but she is never brave enough to get up and wake him. She knows that it is a useless endeavor. He will wake himself up eventually. He always does. Then he will simply rearrange and the cycle will begin again.

After Singapore, they go to Hong Kong. There are more people there – it is easier to hide in plain sight. That does not make Aaron stop jumping at shadows. If anything, being in Hong Kong makes it worse.

It is not Eric Byer that is haunting Aaron. It is something more. Marta has never been the best at relationships (The last one she had besides Aaron is long forgotten – her work was always more important anyway.) but she knows something about the aftermath. She knows that there is something wrong and that there is nothing she can do to fix it.

It makes her sad, knowing that she can do nothing, that Aaron is hurting. She does not know why – he won't say. He never brings it up. Whatever he was doing before Outcome burned, he does not want to talk about it.

He starts talking in his sleep (or maybe she just starts hearing it) three months after they got to Hong Kong. She only catches bits and pieces and it soon stops. Then Aaron's nightmares return.

She is patient, but the things he said when he was unguarded follow her. It is not haunting, but she knows. She knows and that bothers her more than anything. The snatches of words – there was a name in the jumble. Tasha.

Marta does not know who Aaron dreams about. But she knows whoever it is – or was – means something to him.

She does not have the courage to ask him who Tasha is. She only comforts him when the nightmares are too bad. That is all she can do. She feels helpless. He tells her everything else, but never that.

It is not that she wants to know everything. It is not even that she feels entitled to knowing. She just wants to help him. Whatever it is hurts him and she does not like that.

Time goes on and he grows distant. She will find him outside, staring at the sky or sitting somewhere high up. She finds out rapidly that he likes to be as high up as possible when he can be. _I see better from a distance_ , he tells her. But what is he trying to see?

The days begin to slip by without her noticing soon enough. They settle in and hope for the best. No one has recognized either of them (that they know of at least). For a while, life is good.

Then he fails to come home one night and Marta spends the whole night worrying about him. Aaron always comes back. It is unlike him to leave her alone for the evening, much less the whole night.

She paces and paces until her feet hurt and she has to sit down. Still no Aaron.

He is not back in the morning and she does not know what to do. Going about the day becomes more and more difficult with nothing to distract her.

She goes to the store while she waits for him to come back, hoping for something to distract herself from the fear that is freezing her heart. What if their cover was blown? What if Aaron had given himself up to make sure she was safe?

It takes everything she has to be calm in the store, mindlessly browsing the shelves for what they need. Panic sets in and her heart constricts. She hopes he is okay. She stops to buy their groceries and heads back home. Her jaw is set and her breathing is coming fast. Her eyes stay on the ground almost halfway back to the apartment before she remembers how Aaron taught her to be vigilant. She forces her eyes up so that she can scan the crowds. There is nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing she can see.

She is walking down their street when she notices something different. There is a woman sitting on the bench across from their building. She seems absolutely ordinary. Dark red-brown hair, pale skin, full lips, and everyday civilian clothes. But there is something about her that sets Marta off. Something that is screaming for her to run.

She doesn't. She does not run. She bites her lip and keeps going. She slips into the building and shuts the door behind her, then climbs the stairs as fast as she can. She unlocks their door in a hurry and immediately locks it again behind her. She drops her keys on the table by the door and moves to the kitchen, setting the bags down before she tries to calm herself.

Once she can breathe again, she looks up and notices that all of the lights are off, save for the hallway and the kitchen. She had left some of them on when she went to the store.

It only takes a moment to retrieve the gun Aaron always left in the knife drawer. Marta has never had to use it

She finds him standing in their cramped living room, looking out at the street where the woman was sitting. He is wearing the leather jacket he wore when they started running. He has not worn that since the day they got away.

When Aaron looks at her, she knows. "We have to go," he tells her. She just nods and hands him the gun, moving to her bedroom to retrieve the backpack she always kept packed. His is on the couch when she comes out and he is retrieving everything else they need.

They slip down the fire escape and disappear into the crowd – at least as well as two Americans in Hong Kong can. Neither of them says anything. They just keep walking. She looks back once and sees that woman again. When she looks back at Aaron, he meets her eyes the briefest moment before looking ahead. The almost imperceptible shake of his head tells her that they will talk about it later.

She sees the woman again when they dart into the garage Aaron kept the motorcycle they had acquired for something like this. She squeezes his hand to let him know and he half turns and sees her out of the corner of his eye.

The change in his composure is immediate and it scares Marta. His grip on her hand tightens. His pace quickens until they are running. The garage is a mistake. That much is obvious. There is one way in and one way out. Whoever is following them has obviously shaken Aaron and nothing shakes him anymore.

He pulls her into the stairwell and up the stairs, glancing over his shoulder every few moments. When they get to the floor the motorcycle is on, he flings the door open and ushers her out, leaning over the rail just in time to hear the door at the bottom be flung against the wall. He shouts at her to go and is on her heels almost immediately.

Marta feels like she can't breathe. Aaron ushers her onto the bike and climbs on himself, fumbling with the keys in the ignition. As soon as it starts, they are moving.

It is like Manila all over again. The wind rushing in her face as they speed through the city. Aaron does not stop for anything. He does not say a word. Neither of them does.

They stop only to fill the tank up again. Hours go by. Before she knows it, they are in Shanghai. They lose the bike and check in at a cramped hotel that reminds her of when they started running.

Aaron starts work on the passports and the IDs, just like he did before. Neither of them says anything. Marta watches him work. She does not know what to say.

"Was that- was that the June Monroe you said you used to know?" she asks finally.

Aaron freezes in the act of reaching for something, his eyes moving to Marta. "What?"

"The woman who was outside our apartment in Hong Kong. The one who was following that. Was that June?"

Aaron stares at her for a long moment, his mouth opening and closing silently. He is utterly speechless. She has never seen him like that before. Not like this.

"Yes and no," he says finally. He sighs. "June Monroe never really existed. Not this one, at least. It was a cover. Yes, that was her."

Marta searches his face, then nods. "You made it seem like she was dead."

"She is a part of something I can never go back to," Aaron tells her. He picks up the camera again and goes back to work.

"Her name is Tasha, isn't it?" she asks. He looks up at her again, his expression stricken. "You talk in your sleep sometimes," she explains.

Aaron sighs again. "Natasha," he corrects softly. He seems far away for a moment.

"Is she from Outcome?"

He shakes his head. "No. Not from Outcome. But she's like me, you could say."

Marta frowns. He is not making any sense. "You love her." It is a simple statement, but it is nevertheless true.

"No. Not anymore."

She can see that he believes it, but she does not. She can see it in his eyes that he still loves this woman. She does not understand why they are running, but she would never leave him.

So she sits back and lets him work. Maybe someday he will tell her the whole story.


End file.
